The Romance Novel, or
by Hebi-san
Summary: A bad day turns into an odd night for poor Renji. Byakuya,Renji Yaoi


Story title: The Romance Novel, or, Yet another RenKuya Story

One-or two shot(if that's even a word) Well I'm not certain if I should let it be a one-shot or if I'll add another chapter- at any rate there will be no more than two chapters at most- 

Disclaimer: None of the Bleach characters are mine…obviously.

Genre: Romance(sorta)-something new for me…

Note: This has nothing to do with any other story I'm writing, I just felt like writing something yaoi-ish

Warning: Shonen-ai, also: _Keep in mind that I've just watched the anime, I haven't read the manga ( currently my economy don't allow that…L ) so if there's any facts or such that are just dead wrong you'll have to excuse a poor sod like me. Might be somewhat OOC… it's so hard to tell when you're in the middle of writing it, see… _

Characters: Renji, Byakuya… mostly..

Summary: A bad day turns into an odd night…

§§

The captain had been all scowls and snippy comments all day, so by the time Renji was finally allowed to leave the office and the crabby man within it, he couldn't help but to draw a deep breath of the chilly autumn air in relief. Wrapping his brown haori tighter around himself against the chill he set off towards the 11th division. He had chosen this haori carefully that morning, both because the brown coloured fabric with the autumn leaves was warm, but also because he knew that it was one of the few private garments he was allowed to wear to the office by his stern taichou. He had always wondered why, but figured that it either had something to do with the fact that Rukia had gotten it for him for his last birthday, or the fact that it was actually a well tailored garment(that probably cost more than he made in at least three months), and void of all the usual garish colours his clothes had a slight tendency to include.

Not one to argue when a treat was thrown his way though he had never questioned his taichou about his reasons to not object to the garment. He wasn't a _complete_ idiot. Just a bit dull between the ears… on occasion.

"Oi, Ikakku!" he yelled out as he strolled in on the yard to the 11th division's headquarters. "Get out here, ya shining bastard!"

"I do not shine, ya ass!" was the yelled reply, from within one of the low houses, the voice laced with annoyance. The next second the shoji door to the right was forcefully pushed aside as the bald third seat came charging at him, zanpakuto raised to kill.

The 6th division's fukutaichou raised his own zanpakuto, and the air filled with the sharp, vibrating song of steel against steel. Grinning like a mad dog, the bald man jumped back, just out of reach for Renji to make a swift attack, and then just as quickly attacked again. The man's swings came quickly and viciously, but Renji knew his opponent and knew his own strength.

In the end they were forced to call it a tie and lower their weapons.

"Wha' kinda fruity ass piece of cloth is that?!" Ikakku grumbled, eyeing Renji's haori pointedly.

"It ain't fruity," he snapped, glaring at hi friend, "I got it from Rukia on my last birthday."

"Is tha' silk?" the bald man asked, completely ignoring the redhead's protests as he tapped at the haori with his zanpakuto.

"Yeah…" he answered rather lamely, knowing there was little use in lying.

"Fruity." The bald man concluded stoically.

"It a…!"

"Don't worry, Ren-san," another voice interrupted the argument. "I like it." Yumishika smiled and brushed away a stray hair fro his forehead as he walked up to his two friends.

"Ya would, candy ass," Ikakku muttered with a snort.

The feathered man winked at his best friend in an almost seductive manner. "You're just jealous of our superior beauty… well my beauty and Renji's handsomeness. You do have to let it go, Ikkaku, it's hardly our fault that even your hair has rejected you."

"Why you…!"

"Temper, temper," the dark haired man waved a well manicured hand dismissively at the other man, before handing him his own tattered haori. A garment that consisted as much of holes as of fabric. Then he pulled on his own overcoat, a western style coat in a lilac hue, rimmed with black fur. He had bought it with him from the mortal realm. "Let's go get something that'll chase away the cold."

Fifteen minutes later they found themselves at one of their favourite Rukongai hangouts. A bar near the 40th district, called "The Jaw." Whether or not this was because of the square jaw of the owner's wife was debatable, as long as you didn't let the robust woman overhear you debating it of course.

§§

He was zigzagging his way home through the pouring rain, knowing that if he stayed out any longer he'd wake up with a thundering hangover in the morning, and if he came to the office in that condition it was very likely that his captain would have his head. (Not that he'd mind while in that condition but he'd regret it later) Now his plan was to get something to eat, and definitely a lot of water to drink, before getting a few hours worth of sleep.

He wasn't far from his apartment when he rounded a corner and nearly ran face first into his captain. He stopped, nearly tripping himself in his haste. Byakuya Kuchiki was facing away from him, so if he took the chance he'd be able to escape but…

Despite the warning bells going off inside his head, and a voice urging him to run the other way '_'cause the man would kill him if he saw him drunk off his arse like this'_, despite this he still found himself approaching the man. An undeniably goofy grin spreading across his face.

"Hey, Kuchiki-taichou," he greeted the other man loudly, and saw the other man's back tense. "Wha' are ya doin' 'ere in the middle of the night?

"Go away."

The chilly voice halted him, but only for a second before he closed the last remaining steps between them," Nah, taichou, don' be such a sourpuss." He slapped the man on the shoulder, and then watched through his numbly, drunken haze as the man stumbled and nearly fell to the ground- catching himself at last second with his right hand.

Did I just beat him? He wondered drunkenly… well this certainly wasn't the way he'd imagined the day he'd surpass his captain.

"Get away from me, you drunken fool," the other man snapped irritably at him as he pushed himself back on his feet, again rather unsteady on his feet.

Renji caught the other man's arm in a tight grip, keeping him steady(er), which was rather the feat what with the way the world kept swaying around them. He squinted his eyes and peered over at the dark haired noble, "Are ya drunk, taichou?"

Byakuya gave him a chilling glance, and then eyed him from top to bottom. Arching an eyebrow he replied: "And this comes from you, Abarai-fukutaichou?"

Renji frowned, not because he was offended, but because the man certainly didn't act nor sound the least bit intoxicated. But he couldn't think of any other reason for his superior to be stumbling and falling so easily.

"What then, taichou?" he asked, willing himself to focus on the pale man. He really did look paler than usual, the redhead thought absently, but that could just be because of the rain making his hair and clothes wet and thus also darker.

The noble gave him one of his famous 'I'm holier than thou' looks, and unhooked his subordinate's fingers from his arm.

"Go home, go to sleep, and come back to work tomorrow," the captain said stiffly," I expect you to be… immaculate when morning comes."

He turned to leave, slowly walking away from the stunned redhead. But just as he too was about to turn and do as he was ordered, he saw his captain stumble again. Without thinking he threw himself forward, using shunpo despite his intoxicated state, and somehow managed to catch the man from slamming face first into the stone ground. His own stupor though made his landing less than graceful and his legs gave out under him, sending them both to the ground. Blinking against the raindrops falling into his eyes as he lay on his back, he slowly pushed himself to a sitting position. Looking down he found his captain glaring up at him from where his head lay cradled in Renji's lap.

Renji flinched.

"Eh… taichou.. don' gimme that look, I saved ya from smashing yer nose against the ground…"

"Thank you," the other man replied, but there was no gratefulness in his voice. A second later his jumbled brain recognised the tone as sarcasm.

"Well I did…" he muttered, mostly to himself, as he helped his captain to sit. The other one felt warm against him, despite the layers of cloth between them and he frowned. He was fairly certain that his captain wasn't usually this hot (pardon the pun). Without a second thought he reached out and placed a hand on his captain's forehead.

"Yer havin' a fever, taichou," he muttered, "ya shoudn' be out runnin' aroun' in the rain if yer ill."

"I wouldn't be unless someone had decided to trip me and slam me into the ground," the other man replied sharply, slapping the hand away from his forehead.

Renji dragged them both back to their feet, making sure to keep a tight grip on his captain as he did.

"I'll get ya to the 4th."

"You will do no such thing," the irritated noble replied sharply, his hair plastered against his face as his somewhat fevered eyes glared up at the taller man.

"What'll ya do then?"

"Go home, where did you think I was going, you loon?"

"Ya can' shunpo if yer this ill," he snapped, he felt he was making more sense now. Probably thanks to the anger and the refreshing, but cold rain.

For a moment the noble gaped at him, and if it hadn't been for the fact that he felt angry and cold he would probably have laughed at the picture. The next second Byakuya shut his mouth with a snap, an annoyed glint in his eye.

"I fail to see how that is your business, Abarai-_fuku_taichou," the noble said as he turned to leave again. Renji grabbed a firm hold of his arm though preventing him to move. He watched an unbelieving look dawn in those grey eyes, followed by unusual anger.

"Let go."

"No, yer not well enough to shunpo back to the mansion, and it's too damn cold and wet to walk at regular speed. Ye'd go down halfways there."

"Let me go," Byakuya repeated, his tone colder than ice and sharper than any zanpakuto's blade.

"No, you're coming with me, taichou," he tugged the man towards him sharply and caught the shorter man against his chest when he stumbled," See? Ya can' barely walk as it is. If ya don' watch it I'll throw ya over my shoulder an' carry ya."

"You would not," the other man growled, but his eyes widened a bit at the threat. Obviously he wasn't so certain.

"I'm drunk enough to do it, taichou," he replied with a grin that probably made him look ridiculous and half mad. It did the trick though, as the smaller man bit his teeth together and glared up at him. He straightened suddenly and Renji kept his hold of his arm, tilting his chin and giving his subordinate a chilling look. He glanced down at the hand gripping his arm once, and then looked back up at Renji with something aching to accusation.

"Lead the way," he bit out through gritted teeth, and Renji could barely keep a triumphant smile from spreading on his face.

§

"Uhm, may I ask something, taichou?" Renji asked as he rummaged through his closet to find some dry clothes for both himself and his captain. Finding the lilac kimono with a white and black flower pattern on it, the least garish that he owned apart from the haori of course, he emitted a triumphant sound. He handed it to his taichou who rubbed his sensitive fingertips against the fabric. "Alright?"

"It'll do…"

Grateful bastard…

"What was it you wished to ask?"

Oh… right! His drunken mind wasn't keeping up with his mouth… again.

"Why didn' ya wan' me to get ya to the 4th?"

The other man halted halfway through pulling of his soaking wet uniform and looked up at him, his eyes slightly glazed over from the fever and his pale cheeks slightly flushed, most probably from the same reason. It could hardly be because of embarrassment for undressing in the same room as another man, according to Rukia it was far from unusual for the nobles from the same or other families to bath together in hot springs, stark naked. He'd never dared asking her whether or not she had actually attended such a gathering.

His taichou seemed to debate whether or not to reply, and the redhead waited as patiently as he possibly could.

"Because Unohana-taichou would insist on being there herself, and that woman is a very… overprotecting nurse," he finished the last part after some hesitation, obviously trying not to use the word…

"Hen mother ya mean?" he heard his mouth blurt out and instantly felt a bright blush creek upon his cheeks. Closing his eyes he waited for the reprimand, but when none came he opened his eyes again. The black haired man had pulled on the dry kimono and had already slipped underneath the covers of the futon and turned his back to him.

"T-taichou…?" he said softly, standing from his seat on the table and walking closer hesitantly. The other man didn't answer. Surely he couldn't already be asleep. No one went to sleep that quickly, he thought and crept closer. Kneeling he leaned over the prone form of his superior and looked at his face.

The bloody man _was_ asleep.

Gulping back a chuckle he got back up and made himself ready for his own bed- the good old torture device also known as 'the couch.'

§

He didn't have a clue what the time was when he awoke next. Groggy and still pretty drunk, the ceiling spun around a bit as he lay staring up at it and felt as if his bladder was about to explode. He rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands and looked around. The room was still silent, still dark and his taichou was till deep asleep on the futon. With a groan he struggled up from the couch and stumbled into the bathroom to relieve himself. As he stumbled back outside he made his way into the kitchen and gulped down what felt like a litre worth of water.

As he came back into the bedroom and flopped back down on the couch though he heard Byakuya move restlessly in his sleep.

He moved to lie on his side, looking over at his taichou through bleary eyes. When the other man didn't seem to stop squirming he sighed and rolled off the couch, and walked over to the futon.

"Taichou?" he muttered, kneeling and shaking his shoulder gently. Byakuya frowned and curled up underneath the quilt. As Renji reached out again he realised that the other man was shivering. With a sigh he crawled in underneath the quilt with him, pulling his taichou close in order to keep him warm.

Good god, he thought as he lay there, this is turning into some sort of fluffy romance novel, where I'm the gallant knight and taichou's… well I suppose he'll have to be the maiden in distress. An image of his captain wearing a pink, frilly dress flashed through his mind and he couldn't help but snort with laugher.

The other man moved in his sleep, seemingly on the verge of waking, and the redhead quickly quieted down. The noble turned sharply in his sleep, flinging an arm across Renji's chest as he snuggled closer to the redhead's warm body.

Renji held his breath, waiting for the other man to settle down. Which he, to Renji's great relief, also did, his breathing coming in deep peaceful breaths. The fukutaichou relaxed and let out the breath he had been holding.

He had never really considered how much slighter his taichou really was in built compared to himself, there was something about Byakuya's shear presence that made him seem taller than anyone else in the room. But when he lay with him like this, his head resting comfortably on Renji's chest while those pale, thin fingers were curled lightly around the edge of Renji's kimono it dawned on the redhead. By all means his taichou had to be the shortest of all the male captains (save Hitsugaya-taichou of course, but that didn't really count). He couldn't help but giggle drunkenly at the thought of what his taichou would say if he'd heard Renji's thoughts on this particular matter.

The dark haired man stirred then, obviously awakened by the giggling as his pillow, a.k.a Renji's chest, jumped up and down, and Renji gave himself a mental slap. Barely moving more than to turn his head Byakuya looked up at the redhead with those same glazed eyes as earlier.

"S-sorry, taichou," he stuttered and the smile faded from his face.

Byakuya didn't answer though, merely pushed himself up on shaky arms and looked around the dark room as if confused of where he was. Then he shook his head slowly, and the dark tresses of hair fell in front of his face like a curtain.

"Kuchiki-taichou, are you alright?" he asked, reaching up a hand and grasped the other's shoulder gently. The older man leaned into his touch, turning back toward the redhead on the futon. Placing a hand on each side of his fukutaichou's body the man leaned down towards him, and Renji's breath caught in his throat. Instinctively he pressed himself back against the pillows in an attempt to widen the distance between them. But his taichou followed him.

"Taichou… " he whispered, when their faces were but inches apart and he could feel the other's hot breath on his skin. Then, as if in a dream (or nightmare-he wasn't completely certain) the dark haired man closed the distance between them and drew the redhead into a soft, burning kiss.

Renji's hands closed into fist on the sheets, as the rest of his body seemed to go into paralyzed shock. A romance novel, his mind babbled, it was a damn romance novel. The moment didn't last long, as Byakuya's strength seemed to leave him suddenly and the elder man slumped forward heavily against Renji. He nuzzled into his neck as his entire body seemed to relax and go limp. Like a very hot, somewhat sticky blanket.

"I love you, Renji…"

It was barely a whisper, and the words were slurred and muffled, but there was no doubt in Renji's mind that he had heard him correctly. It had to be a novel; he thought desperately, his heart hammering in his chest as if it was trying to break free. There was just no way that his taichou, his _male_ taichou, lo… felt anything but annoyance and disdain towards him, and if he did he had a damn funny way of showing it.

It was Byakuya Kuchiki for god's sake. The ice-king of Soul Society. With the empathies on _king_.

No, he would blame it on those damn romance novels, he decided and carefully pulled up the quilt to cover his taichou's slumped shoulders. It wouldn't do to let him get cold now would it?

§§

Author's notes: See I'm not dead I've just been really busy, so sorry for not updating Hitsugaya's body yet, but the next chapter should be up soon. Sorry for neglecting you guys This here was just something that I wrote on a whim after finding a great pic of Renji/Byakuya might be a second chapter to this, but I haven't decided yet. I should probably finish what I've started first, ne?

Oh well, I do hope you enjoyed this little story- it's very quickly written(like all my oneshots tend to be) so it may or may no be very comprehensible… Please do review and tell me what you thought though :D It's always greatly appreciated with feedback!


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